OK -- I did not get the memo about Helen wearing red to the flag raising ceremony. But nothing could dampen my pride as I watched Helen and 4 other children lead the Kindergarten flag ceremony earlier this week. Each class takes a turn for this monthly event. They memorized a speech welcoming the teachers and xiao pengyoumen (little friends). Then they each took a turn introducing themselves to the assembly, before leading the Chinese national anthem. As I watched our Huan Huan boldly and clearly introduce herself in Chinese, I naturally got a little choked up...it was a moment of clarity for me about what my little daughter has accomplished already on our trip. She belongs here. She feels at home in China, the land of her birth. Maybe you have to be an adoptive parent to understand the meaning of this for me...when you adopt a child, of course you are welcoming them into your life and it is a generous act, although most of us adopt primarily out of our drive to have children vs. pure altruism. Adoption is a joyful event, but one which takes place in the shadow of loss -- this child has lost their birth family, and in Helen's case, being adopted by also also meant she lost her native language and citizenship, her culture. In exchange there is abundant love, and a new family, new culture, new opportunities, but........a small voice in the background wondering "what if?"
All this to say that my hope for Helen this year was not to change all of that, or pretend that 1 year in China alters the fact that she is very much an American girl in every way, but to give her a chance to "try on" China -- to have a primary experience of growing up for a time in the manner she might have if she had not lost and gained so much at such a young age. And of course, to give her the chance of speaking her native language, something she has felt strongly about since she was a toddler and first heard her own story. She has a long way to go on the language side, but her pride in being able to lead her peers in Chinese seemed to be a crucial development for her -- a moment to remember and treasure forever. Choosing her from among her classmates for this role -- her teachers have given her a great gift.
By the way -- there is videotape of this event. Some day when I am bored I will experiment with uploading it to this site or Youtube or something!
1 comment:
Helen is such a doll. Curious in USA.
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