First Intermittent Chinglish Post

Michael here again. Yes, Ann is busy so I have decided to launch into our first intermittent "Chinglish" posting. Chinglish is obviously short for Chinese English and it has made us all quite happy. The odd and unnatural use of the English language by Chinese speakers is a real source of amusement. In fact, we fear the growing fluency of the Chinese in English lest Chinglish begin to disappear.

Mostly, you can find this kind of language on road signs, official postings, packages, etc. Some of the pictures here may not match the true gems of Chinglish, but they are odd enough to merit inclusion. Even the simple "Careful of the Moist Road" is simply not a phrase that would have occurred to a native English speaker.

On the other hand, no one would in the States would have thought to put the simple but frightening image below in a public spot. That'll keep the kids away from the edge.


One of my personal favorites is below. The "Caution, Splinter" notice may seem rather limpid next to the frightening image of the spike coming through a foot. I guarantee you that no one was walking across the lawn at this place. Rather more effective than the genteel scolding of "Keep off the Grass" back home.


Some of the more classic Chinglish examples are found just laying about the house. My pen that I bought at the local snack shop has this written around the middle:

If you have what problem.
I answer this hard nut to crack for you.
The thought which uses me answers your question.

Now, that one is so good it actually makes you think philosophically. Obviously it is my favorite pen.

Here are directions on a plastic package for instant noodles:

(1) Add some water with boiling, after then maybe add eggs, vegetables, meat with boiling.
(2) Put the rice-flour noodle and spicery in the soup, and then turn off the fire.
(3) The rice-flour noodle stir up with soup, this time the Guo Qiao rice-flour noodle is very delicious.

Have you ever seen the word "maybe" used in cooking directions? These things are like little experiences of joy that periodically hit you throughout the day. Often they seem to make more sense than fluent English (maybe a sign that we've been here a while).




Usually the alternative to 'Recycled' is not 'Organism', but it works. Part of the enjoyment of it is due to the fact that signs and postings in English are not standardized. So on the next garbage can it might say something completely different. There's always a surprise waiting around the corner.

On the other hand, it is possible that Chinglish can get in the way of business. We walk by this store below every Sunday on Gulanyu, the island next to Xiamen. We have never seen a westerner in there.

Ann thinks that we should set up in the spot next door and open "Today Coffee". Who knows, maybe no one would understand it.